internet hedgehog: darcy

I’ve been pestering the Husband to consider getting us a pet hedgehog. They’re tiny, adorable , don’t scare the neighbours and make excellent camera fodder. The Husband however has nixed my pleas with his grumpy realism.

“They’re prickly.”

Who cares? I’ve been on Team Hedgehog since the Glorious Internet Revelation of 2007, when I stumbled upon a baby hedgie WEARING A HAT, y’all. You have your good points, Google. Since then, I’ve been a regular googler of ‘hogs. My favourite Internet Hedgehog at the moment is Darcy, a very kissable ball of spines owned by Tokyo Instagrammer Shota Tsukamoto.

Here’s what the Instagram Blog has to say about Darcy, prickly muse, pliant poser. Don’t miss my rude interruption in orange.

“I want to make Darcy the most famous hedgehog in the world.” With this in mind Tokyo Instagrammer Shota Tsukamoto started a unique series of photos of his pet hedgehog, Darcy. Darcy’s account quickly took off in a way Shota never expected and (@darcytheflyinghedgehog) is now one of the most-followed pet accounts on Instagram.

The three-year-old hedgehog takes her name from D’arcy Wretzky, the former bassist of the “The Smashing Pumpkins,” who Shota explains resembles “a pointy, edgy girl.” No. She’s actually named after Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. They’re both prickly on the outside. Despite the origin of her name, Darcy’s friendly, lovable nature shines through in the photos that Shota takes. “Hedgehogs are usually very cautious animals, but that is not the case with Darcy,” he says. She especially finds comfort in her owner’s palms and, once she’s there, she is fast asleep.

Aside from how adorable Darcy is, there is a distinctive artistry in Shota’s photos. “I imagine a page from a children’s picture book,” explains Shota. “I want (@darcytheflyinghedgehog) to be a surrealistic story and I even want people to question whether or not Darcy really exists in real life.” For example, his favorite shot of Darcy is of her sitting face-to-face with a skull object. “No matter how many times I look back at this shot, I can never seem to imagine what the two are talking about,” he says. He also does not add captions to his photos because he wants to encourage people to come up with their own stories about Darcy.

Here are some pictures of Darcy that I’ve imagined backstories to.

1. Tiny Furniture

This is Darcy sitting on a tiny ‘hog-sized chair, waiting to audition for Lena Dunham’s Tiny Furniture. Darcy forgot to carry her mineral water bottle and her breakfast sandwich and now she’s both hungry and tired. There’s a vending machine down the hall she just might consider.

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2. Poetry Writing Workshop

Darcy’s best friend gifted her tickets to a three day Poetry Writing Workshop run by an Almost Famous Writer. On day 1, the Almost Famous Writer seated everyone in a semi circle and made a small speech about how poetry is truth in its Sunday clothes. Then she walked through the semi circle, depositing a random object before each person. Darcy got a ceramic skull. Her neighbour got a peach. Her other neighbour got a burnt piece of firewood. “Now write about the object before you.” she said.

Here’s what Darcy wrote.

there, there skully

it’s okay

i’d miss having eyes, skin and a body too

but think about the pain you save yourself skully

no styes, no itching, no flu

The Almost Famous Writer gave her a 3 on 10. Darcy did not attend days 2 and 3.

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3. Toilette

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single ‘hog in possession of good looks must be in want of an elaborate toilette. In Rihannaspeak that would be ‘Ladies be needin’ glammin’, yo.’ Darcy begins her day with a cup of fragrant lavender tea, followed by a discreet poop on a W/C that keeps her ladybits warm with a themed warmer (this picture was taken around December). After that, she bathes in a tub that is actually a vintage silver gravy boat.  This is followed by the application of spine softener (‘hogspeak for moisturiser) and perfume.

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….

That was so much fun! Thank you for visiting.

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